Tag Archives: bad habits

it’s easy to do bad when you think nobody is watching

18 Apr

Over the last week or so I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to officially start this journey.  Sure, I started a blog, tried a few new veggies, researched a workout video to order, and even talked the boyfriend in designing a workout for me.  But now what?

This is a big project and I have a long road ahead of me, so I decided to swallow my pride (as much as possible) and to get some help because I know I can’t do this all alone.

So what will I do?  Well for starters, I will get some professional help.  I am going to partner with a dietitian to help get me on track and adjust my current eating habits.  Of course, I don’t think that I got this way from not knowing that eating pizza for lunch, a greasy burger for dinner and ice cream for dessert was bad for me.  Of course, I knew those were poor choices, but I did it anyway either because it was easier and faster than trying to find time in my hectic schedule to come up with a healthier alternative or simply because I crave junk food.  After years of taking the easy road, I’ve formed some very bad habits.  I hope by partnering with my dietitian I will begin to find ways to break those bad habits and pick up some healthier ones.

Step 1 is to write a food journal over the next 7 days.  Today, is the first day and I have to admit…I eat A LOT of stuff that is horrible!  The one thing I find most interesting about this process is that even though I have no problem zipping through a drive- thru and upsizing a combo meal any other time, I am now fighting the temptation to modify my usual high fat diet in order to hide this nasty little habit.  I realize that I have to be honest with myself and this log if I really want some constructive feedback and a fair chance of getting the help that I really need.  I also realize that reporting that I only eat salad with low-fat dressing each meal is not going to fool anyone.  Clearly, I didn’t get this way because of salad!

The crazy thing is, once I start writing down all of the bad things I consume, I am forced to own up to the fact that I am slowly killing myself one burger at a time.  Throughout the day today, I immediately thought of healthy alternatives..something that I NEVER do.  I always eat first, and think later (usually as I am sitting around full as a tick).  But the thought that I had to send this journal of self-destruction to a third-party to be analyzed, I suddenly wanted to switch gears.  How crazy is this?  I’ve been hiding behind things for so many years and now that I have someone who can actually help…my first instinct is to hide the truth from her.  Goodness!

Today, I ate like crap, but no different from any other day of my life.  The only strange thing is that today it was harder because I had to own those decisions.  And as I look over my journal for the day, I think of the many things that are wrong with it and wonder why if it is so blatantly obvious, I didn’t pay attention sooner.

If you’ve never kept a journal of what you eat…or haven’t in a while…try it.  Write as though you are going to send it off to be “judged”.  Let me know how it goes for you…  Like me, do you suddenly feel this overwhelming feeling to lie or to suddenly eat better than you have in years..just because you know someone else could see it?