Tag Archives: healthier alternative

fighting for what I deserve

5 May

It’s been a frustrating week.  Although, I am eating healthier and paying more attention to what and how much I eat, I see zero progress on my friendly little scale.  Yes, yes….I realize that I can’t base my happiness on those foolish little numbers, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t faze me.  Who doesn’t want to climb on the scale and see that number get smaller and smaller with each weigh in?

But, while those much desired smaller digits are playing SO hard to get, I realized something…they are only making me try harder.  This is unchartered territory for me.  My normal reaction would have been to declare defeat and drown my sorrows in a sea of chocolate goodness.  Now, I find my self finding opportunities to move more and trading chocolate chip cookies for fresh pineapple.  WHAT?!  Who is this crazy girl and what has she done with Dee?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I haven’t (I repeat: I HAVE NOT) sworn off those yummy little cookies, but right now I find myself more open to accepting a healthier alternative during this stressful time.  I don’t know if it is some miraculous discovery of hidden will power or simply because I now have a better appreciation of how hard it is to burn 300 calories.  Whatever it is, it is much-needed and is making me feel like maybe this time I really have a chance!

So as I am working harder to prove that stupid little scale wrong, I thought I’d share my progress with you.  I took some extremely helpful advice from one of my virtual weight-loss buddies, LucyM.  I switched up my routine a little to keep things fresh and hopefully to push past this little plateau.

Yesterday, I decided to take my mom up on her standing offer to walk with me.  I got up early and headed over to her house where we walked a mile.  Now, I reached my milestone of walking a mile a week or so ago, but the difference is that unlike my neighborhood where the streets are nice and flat (aka little to no resistance) my mom’s neighborhood is full of small inclines.  Whew!  What a difference!  That was one HARD mile.  Today, I did it again.  This time my mom and I walked a little further.  I’ve never been so happy to see her driveway.  Then tonight after eating dinner before 8pm–a weekday record for this household, the boyfriend and I got up and went for ANOTHER walk.  What’s that you say?  Two walks in one day?  Slow down there missy!

Being the big trickster he is, he came up with the bright idea to walk to a nearby neighborhood. FOUR MILES later, I crawled back into the house.

Man, I am tired, but all in all I feel good.  Sure, my feet hurt a little and my back is a little achy, but I’m happy that I pushed myself a little further than I’ve pushed myself before.  AND…it didn’t kill me.

While I can’t say that I am down for doubling my workout everyday, or even ready to go another 5 miles tomorrow, I can say that I am really proud of myself.  I am finally taking a healthy approach to the stress of not seeing the results that I want.  I am not pretending that the problem will fix itself if I just ignore it, I am not self-destructing…I am taking action!  I am determined to prove this stupid little scale wrong and prepared to continue working hard to defy it and force it to give me the results I want (scratch that…) I DESERVE!

it’s easy to do bad when you think nobody is watching

18 Apr

Over the last week or so I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to officially start this journey.  Sure, I started a blog, tried a few new veggies, researched a workout video to order, and even talked the boyfriend in designing a workout for me.  But now what?

This is a big project and I have a long road ahead of me, so I decided to swallow my pride (as much as possible) and to get some help because I know I can’t do this all alone.

So what will I do?  Well for starters, I will get some professional help.  I am going to partner with a dietitian to help get me on track and adjust my current eating habits.  Of course, I don’t think that I got this way from not knowing that eating pizza for lunch, a greasy burger for dinner and ice cream for dessert was bad for me.  Of course, I knew those were poor choices, but I did it anyway either because it was easier and faster than trying to find time in my hectic schedule to come up with a healthier alternative or simply because I crave junk food.  After years of taking the easy road, I’ve formed some very bad habits.  I hope by partnering with my dietitian I will begin to find ways to break those bad habits and pick up some healthier ones.

Step 1 is to write a food journal over the next 7 days.  Today, is the first day and I have to admit…I eat A LOT of stuff that is horrible!  The one thing I find most interesting about this process is that even though I have no problem zipping through a drive- thru and upsizing a combo meal any other time, I am now fighting the temptation to modify my usual high fat diet in order to hide this nasty little habit.  I realize that I have to be honest with myself and this log if I really want some constructive feedback and a fair chance of getting the help that I really need.  I also realize that reporting that I only eat salad with low-fat dressing each meal is not going to fool anyone.  Clearly, I didn’t get this way because of salad!

The crazy thing is, once I start writing down all of the bad things I consume, I am forced to own up to the fact that I am slowly killing myself one burger at a time.  Throughout the day today, I immediately thought of healthy alternatives..something that I NEVER do.  I always eat first, and think later (usually as I am sitting around full as a tick).  But the thought that I had to send this journal of self-destruction to a third-party to be analyzed, I suddenly wanted to switch gears.  How crazy is this?  I’ve been hiding behind things for so many years and now that I have someone who can actually help…my first instinct is to hide the truth from her.  Goodness!

Today, I ate like crap, but no different from any other day of my life.  The only strange thing is that today it was harder because I had to own those decisions.  And as I look over my journal for the day, I think of the many things that are wrong with it and wonder why if it is so blatantly obvious, I didn’t pay attention sooner.

If you’ve never kept a journal of what you eat…or haven’t in a while…try it.  Write as though you are going to send it off to be “judged”.  Let me know how it goes for you…  Like me, do you suddenly feel this overwhelming feeling to lie or to suddenly eat better than you have in years..just because you know someone else could see it?