Tag Archives: judging people

nothing is more annoying than a reformed smoker

18 Aug

Photo Credit: Axolot

Sorry guys…this post has very little to do with my weight-loss progress and more a venting session on something I need to get off my chest.

Do any of you have friends (or acquaintances) that used to smoke cigarettes, but once they quit they quickly forgot how much they enjoyed those little dangerous sticks of nicotine?  They forgot about their own addictions and the struggle they went through to overcome that addiction and suddenly became those annoying ex-smokers who pointed fingers and were dramatically adverse to the smell of smoke!  They were suddenly untouchable and holier than thou!

Isn’t that just amazing?

So as I encounter people who have recently lost weight and choose to throw stones at people who are struggling or making poor nutrition decisions, it just really irks me.

Photo Credit: Iamagenious

It wasn’t too long ago that we were all unaware of (or indifferent about) the bad decisions we were making.  It wasn’t all that long ago that we sat in that chair scarfing down whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.

My guess is that we only decided to take that first step to a healthier life after something deep inside of us said it was time, not because of the judgments or unsolicited advice of others.

So imagine my surprise when I encountered someone who has recently struggled with weight loss actually contemplating going up to a stranger and pointing out the damage that they are doing.  WHAT!?!  REALLY!?!

Man, I was speechless…How soon we forget!  We begin unloading our own baggage and begin finding faults in others.  How disheartening.  As a “big girl” who has been known to occasionally wear her heart on her sleeve, the world is cruel and judgmental.  It seems that we’ve been conditioned to wrongfully judge a book by its cover.  It’s hurtful and narrow-minded, but I guess it’s what we do. What do you do when you see someone making bad nutrition decisions?  Am I crazy because I can still easily relate to them?  I am one slip up from being right there next to them!

Am I strange for not having the urge to confront them like an ex-smoker might?  I was sitting in that seat only months ago consistently making bad decisions and I know that if some stranger would have come up to me with their unsolicited advice and opinions that it would not have ended well.   To this day, I am not perfect, will never be and not sure I ever want to think that I am.  I still slip up or make bad decisions (whether planned or unplanned).  One thing remains the same, I wouldn’t appreciate someone approaching me to give me their “take on the situation.”  It’s one thing when your family and friends hold an intervention because they genuinely care about your well-being and a completely different thing when a stranger takes it upon themselves to “save you” from yourself.

Guys seriously…set me straight here.  Why do I feel so angry about this?  Perhaps I should look at this situation from another angle.  Maybe this so-called “reformed smoker” just knows the road this person is headed down and wants to warn them as any Good Samaritan would?

At what point are we qualified to give advice like this to someone we don’t know?  Is it really coming from a good place or are we really just sitting back and judging that person and then feeling the need to bestow some wisdom to them–whether they wanted it or not.  Shouldn’t we be doing something more constructive like focusing on our own problems, assisting people who want our help, or helping those who are actually in the mindset of making a change. It’s sad how fast we forget the road we just took and become the person judging instead of the one being judged.

Ok…hopping off my soapbox!

Whew…glad I got that out of my system!  And for the record…as I know I will get some heat for the title and references…yes, it’s judgmental as well as a huge generalization.  Rest assured my smoking (and reformed smoking buddies)…this was just the first comparison that came to mind.  And yes, I am well aware that reformed smokers are not all annoying.  This was just a hook to get you to read this…and, well… if you made it this far….  (it worked)!  Love you guys!  😉

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